argh!!!!

hiahz... yest really was my bad day ever... haihz... first time in my life... I forgot my lines when I was presenting my speech on the stage!! FIRST TIME!! I... haihz... I just feel like killing myself now!! TT... what on earth was I thinking at that moment!!! YISHHH!!!!!!!

nvm... the worst part is... when I got into the car.. I told my dad about it... and guess what?! he scolded me... WTH? I dont want to talk about the conversation between us here... and then... I cried... I duno why... but I cant stand it anymore... I really cannot tahan my tears from flowing out.. I just... haihz... I locked myself in room for the whole day... I just~ haihz... I duno why I will act like this... but just.. I cant feel any warmth in my house anymore... even my school chinese teachers came to me and give me some moral support... but my parents were totally terbalik... haihz.. TT...

I really hate myself... I duno why I forgot my lines... my mind went blank at that moment... and I started to panic... and... sudd I lost confidence to myself... no more hope... I gave up d... and my parents keep on asking why I forgot? how I know!! wth?! my mind went blank and nothing came out from my mouth so I just pause for a little while... and you keep asking me for reason... and explanation for it... wth?! then keep on bla bla bla shit!!! yishh!!! I really hate it!!!!!

I felt happier in school... today I cried for the second time again... this turn was my mum... they just couldnt understand how I feel... and keep on nagging about it... and go on and on... they didnt care how I feel... they just telling me things at the wrong time... how you want me to listen to your advice... argghhh!!! I really feel like screaming now!!